I have been sharing in my posts, for quite a while now, many of the cultural traits of Filipinos that really put to the test a Westerner’s ability to endure culture shock.
In some of my previous posts I’ve touched on how the only way an interracial relationship like this can not just function but actually thrive is by removing any hint of negativity or judgement towards the most irking aspects of the Filipino culture and replacing them with feelings of appreciation and an attitude of acceptance.
If a Western partner of a Filipina begins to moan, whine and complain about bahala na, ako muna, utang na loob, isang kahig isang tuka etc. it will not be long before the relationship collapses or begins to barely coast along with very little love and passion.
So, shifting from frustration to appreciation is critical in any relationship but much more so in this kind of interracial relationship.
Those who stress the importance of appreciation in an intimate relationship usually say that the way you appreciate your partner is by focusing on his or her good qualities.
I believe that this attitude can be taken to a much higher level thereby creating much higher levels of intimacy if we, instead of just focusing on what’s positive or even great about our spouse, choose to focus on our partner’s potential to display divine traits.
An ancient scripture says that humans have been created in “God’s image” or with the potential to display godlike qualities.
This awareness gets me to consistently look through the idiosyncracies of the Filipino culture and look, not just for what’s merely good in it and in my spouse, but rather for how my wife has the potential to mirror godlike qualities.
If you choose to operate from this frame you will see your Filipina as a potentially extraordinary human beings with whom, by lifting your level of spiritual and emotional mastery, you can build an outstanding relationship, actually a quote-unquote “divine” one.
Let me share with you a brief thought from the Persian poet Hafiz (quoted by Dr. Wayne Dyer in “The Power of Intention” chapter 5):
“When you sit before a Master like me,
Even if you are a drooling mess,
My eyes sing with Excitement
They see your Divine Worth”
To me the way to turn a relationship with a person, who comes from a culture filled with aspects that, by the Western standards, could be viewed as “messy”, into something really extraordinary is by adopting an extraordinary ability to look through the quote-unquote “mess” and look for the divine worth of your partner.
I believe that divine qualities are hardwired into each and every one of us but they are largely clouded by human imperfection and by the fact that humans have deflected themselves from their Creator thereby creating countries and cultures that are all filled with idiosyncrasies and traits that are light years away from divine perfection (and that also applies to Western countries of course).
In an intimate relationship, and particularly in a multiethnic one, partners can help each other to dredge up those qualities and enjoy an outstanding relationship instead of allowing frustration and resentment toward each other’s culture to spoil a relationship that has a great potential to be a “divine” one.