As I said earlier Filipinos are highly emotional. If you are emotional as well and consistently vent back it will not be long before your relationship collapses.
I have found out that a wise Western husband of an emotional Filipina must be able to keep his cool and understand what’s in back of those strong emotions.
What’s behind the fact that Filipinos are so emotional?
By travelling far and wide through the Philippines I’ve gained a measure of understanding of why so many Filipinos get emotional (I am not trying to come up with a sociological theory here, I am just reporting my idea based of what I have observed): they come from an environment that, by and large, does not encourage “peace of mind” and self-control, nor does it encourage solitude and quiet meditation. Filipino cities and towns are noisy, there are huge billboards that constantly bombard people with commercial messages, there are huge shopping malls and fast-food restaurants everywhere, crime and violence are widespread.
Filipinos are fond of fast-food and instant gratification in general, read and meditate very little, watch much TV, spend much time on social media, are always among other people and rarely in a state of quiet meditation, they would rather ride on a tricycle or a jeepney than walk and exercise. All these external stimuli combined with little physical exercise don’t create and encourage self-control in my opinion, and people with little self-control, and who seek immediate gratification, are more prone to get emotional.
When you live in an environment where it is hard to carve out for yourself a space of inner stillness and keep accumulating mental and physical toxicity and you don’t have an outlet (such as work out for example) for that, it’s hard to keep emotions at bay and you scream them out of your system with your spouse, friends, relatives etc.
So, by trying to understand the root of this tendency Filipinos have to get emotional, which in my judgement, has much to do with the “environment” she is from (and is rarely “about you”), and by separating episodes of lashing out from who your wife really is as a person and what your relation is about, you can keep your cool and deal with lashing out in a loving and understanding way.