I spent the first few years of my relationship “uselessly groping for a bridge” and staring at the question raised by the “Culture Shock Philippines” book: “when the queasy feeling of…groping for a bridge…begins to make my tremble…what do I do?”.
I spent 11 long years trying to find out and, eventually, managed to come up with a philosophy, which I encapsulated into a set of principles, that I’ll be sharing with you in the days to come.
In short, the principles I have outlined and that, in my opinion, are the backbone of a healthy mixed-relationship, are the following:
- when the challenges of culture-shock show up TURN FRUSTRATION INTO CHILDLIKE CURIOSITY
- don’t enter a mixed-relationship with a set of expectations and don’t manipulate your Filipino partner to fit into your expectations
- choose to be in love rather than right even when you find it extremely difficult to understand certain aspects of the Filipino culture
- although learning about the Filipino culture and doing so with childlike curiosity is necessary, learning about principles and strategies that work CROSS-CULTURALLY will speed up the process of building a bridge
- the “real” bridge is an “emotional” one rather than a “cultural” one
These principles have immensely helped me and can spare you from years of “uselessly groping for a bridge”.
Anyway I’ll be discussing them in more detail in the coming posts.
Until next time