Here in Rome, Italy, most Filipinos share their apartments with, at least, another family and yet they have the latest smartphones, a big flat-screen tv set, expensive cars, they eat out at Mc Donalds, KFC etc. and have social gatherings up to two, three (or even more) times a week. I’ve noticed that it is pretty much the same in the Philippines where I’ve seen many who live in the simplest home that you can imagine and yet they have the latest electronic gadgets.
In the last 20 years I’ve seen so many situations that have taught me that ONE OF THE MAJOR WEAKNESSES OF FILIPINOS IS THE DESIRE FOR INSTANT GRATIFICATION AND TOTAL LACK OF SELF-CONTROL.
This characteristic affects every aspect of their lives, their wealth, their health and their overall emotional state.
One of the payoffs of the fact that they seek instant gratification is that they SPEND MORE THAN THEY EARN AND GET INTO DEBT.
I come from a culture where saving up for the future and buying your own house is considered very important but I am in a relationship with a woman who comes from an environment where the concept of “first things first” seems to be totally absent.
How do I deal with it and how can you deal with this challenge?
Again, as I’ve already pointed out many times in my posts, the only way to enjoy this kind of relationship is RELINQUISHING RIGIDITY and BECOMING MORE EASYGOING.
Filipinos take things lightly, have an easygoing approach to life, they would rather buy the latest I-phone than pay the bills on time.
A rigid “first things first” and “long-term planner” type of man can hardly function in a relationship with another human being who has a much lighter approach to life and prefers to live AS IF THERE WAS NO TOMORROW AND ENJOY LIFE HERE AND NOW.
So, again, the key is to understand and accept that you are dealing with a LONG-STANDING DIFFERENT MODEL OF THE WORLD and try to look for things you can appreciate instead of feeling miserable and sorry for yourself because Filipinos always want to be on a high, have fun, enjoy life now, have parties on a weekly basis, eat out, have a fancy car full of bumper stickers and so on.
I’ve learned to mellow and just go with the flow. It has made my life and my relationship much easier and, by not arguing all the time and giving my wife space to be as she is, I’ve noticed that it is getting easier and easier to get her to start planning for the future and have a budget journal.