Dealing with the Filipino Concept of “Sincerity”

One of the ways Filipinos try to keep interpersonal relationships as smooth as possible is by means of pleasing promises and half-truths.

It is not as if the concept of “sincerity” is foreign to the Filipino culture. In the Tagalog language there exist words that convey the idea of sincerity, honesty and reliability (they have words like maasahan or tapat for instance) and if the language comprises such expressions this means that they do value being truthful, honest, sincere and reliable.

As I’ve pointed out in a previous post, Filipinos seem to be “people oriented” and “PLEASING AND NOT HURTING ANYONE” often seems to be more important than sticking to certain VALUES like sincerity.

Obviously your wife loves you and wants to please you, but she LOVES AND WANTS TO PLEASE HER EXTENDED FAMILY AS WELL.

She may be moving on the razor’s edge of TRYING TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY and this INEVITABLY ENTAILS THAT SHE ENDS UP SAYING ONE THING TO YOU AND IT’S OPPOSITE TO HER RELATIVES.

For example, when you have a plan to visit the Philippines, she might promise you that you will go to various islands and sea resorts but she may also make commitments with her relatives that rule out the possibility that, once you get there, you will actually be able to enjoy a proper vacation.

This is just one of the thousands of examples of how you could find yourself dealing with pleasing promises that are not meant to be 100% reliable.

When these situations arise don’t be hasty in labeling your wife as insincere but, rather, try to see these situations in the context of the deeply rooted Filipino mentality that gets them to try at all cost to get along with everyone and please everyone, especially when it comes to the extended family.

2 thoughts on “Dealing with the Filipino Concept of “Sincerity”

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