Balancing Socializing and Work in a Filipino-Western Marriage

Having a Filipino wife can be expensive, for a number of reasons that I’ve mentioned in my previous posts.

They feel compelled to support various relatives in the Philippines, every now and then they want to go home to the Philippines and, because the Philippines is not exactly behind the corner, the plane ticket can be expensive. When they go home they are not supposed to show up empty-handed, rather they need to bring pasalubong (or a gift) to everyone.

Many Filipinas like having big flat-screen TV sets, the latest electronic gadgets, a car, and if the extended family lives with you, you might need a 7 or 9-seater car besides supporting them financially (this is not my situation, as only my mother in law is here, but some Westerners married to a Filipina may find themselves in that position).

Most Filipinas whom I know work, even those who have an Italian husband, but money is never enough so you may find yourself in a position where you need a substantial income.

On the other hand though, being too busy earning money gets in the way of the Filipino life-style. As I’ve already mentioned, Filipinos like having parties on a pretty much weekly basis and guests may show up at the most unexpected times even during week days.

As I’ve also mentioned in my post on Bayanihan, Filipinos also like helping members of the Filipino community when they move to another apartment or in other situations.

This means that you need a lot of free time and you can’t be too busy with your career (this is at least my experience and what I observe here in Italy).

So, if you are married to a Filipina you may find yourself in a position where you need money but if you are too busy earning money you could be cut off from the gregarious way of life of Filipinos.

I have a job that gives me the possibility to organize my time the way I want but I put myself in the shoes of someone who has tight working schedules to earn a substantial amount.

Living on the razor’s edge of continuing doing an energy consuming job to earn the substantial amount of money that a marriage with a Filipina requires while balancing it with the large amount of socializing that is part of the Filipino way of life can be tricky.

This is another aspect to take into serious account if you marry a Filipina: you need money but you can’t be too busy making money.

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