As I keep saying in my posts, one of the main challenges of being married to a Filipina is that many Filipinos tend to get emotional.
I’ve already published an article where I explain what, in my opinion, lies behind the emotional volatility of Filipinos (https://buildingfilipinowesternbridges.wordpress.com/2018/09/05/effective-communication-with-my-filipino-wife-her-lashing-out-is-never-or-hardly-ever-an-attack-on-you/)
Today I want to share with you a core distinction that has immensely helped me to deal with emotionally charged situations and this distinction is that
“in every human interaction a response is either “a loving response or a cry for help”.
I’ve heard this concept in some communication seminars. I think it comes from a book entitled “A Course in Miracles”.
In my experience this distinction has immensely helped me to enhance my ability to show empathy and understanding.
As I keep saying in this blog, becoming familiar with the Filipino culture and its countless manifestations (and idiosyncrasies) is very useful and in this blog I’ve mentioned a lot of cultural aspects that a Westerner needs to be aware of to succeed in a relationship with a Filipina. However I am a believer in the idea that a successful intimate relationship with anyone on the planet, no matter where this person comes from, has more to do with psychology and mindset than it has to do with exploring our spouse’s culture in all it’s avenues.
Operating from the idea that every interaction is either a loving response or a cry for help is a very powerful needle mover and game changer in a challenging relationship like the one with a Filipina.