Living a “Structured Life” with a Filipina

As I keep saying in my posts, getting a Filipina to set goals and plan ahead, is not an easy job.
They come from an environment that is rather unstructured. It is a society that, by and large, goes with the flow. As a result Filipinos, on a personal level, seem to live rather unstructured lives.

We in the Western world have a measure of ambition, of dreaming big, of not being happy with just getting through the day. As a result we plan, we set goals and we dream.

Filipinos seem to be, in many cases, people who merely get through the day and rarely think  long term. This is, under certain aspects, a positive thing as Filipinos seem to go through life without the degree of “heaviness” and stress that often characterizes us Westerners. By just getting through the day and being somewhat “free-flowing” rather than structured and organized many Filipinos probably live a stress-free life and go through life smiling all the time.

Challenges may arise if the Western husband is the other way around and has a “mental infrastructure” that gets him to plan, schedule, have a journal etc.

Many Filipinos believe that if they had more money they would have better plans, while I believe that more money is the result of having better plans.

It seems like Filipinos fail to look into the real cause of their chronic lack of money that also extends to other areas of their lives such as lack of good health for example, and the real cause is short-term thinking and lack of long-term planning.

On a national level this mindset produces as a result that the country of the Philippines lacks important infrastructures such as bullet trains or a decent network of infrastructures which are the product of a long-term planning that spans generations. To go from my wife’s place in Bulacan to Bolinao and the One Hundred Islands it took me almost 7 hours by car and to go to Tagaytay it took me 8 hours, as I spent 5 long hours stuck on the EDSA Avenue in Manila.

On a an individual level Filipinos tend to mirror the characteristics of their nation. Just as the nation lacks a far-sighted mindset individuals seem to lack “mental infrastructures” that lead to living “structured” lives. This applies to how they manage their time, their money and their health.

So, one of the aspects to take into account is that by entering a relationship with a Filipina you will likely have to deal with a person who will probably smother your plans and goals and try to chop you down to a level of life characterized by getting through the day.

As I mentioned in a previous article, they call it “bahala-na” or the concept that, basically, it is unnecessary to plan ahead because things will somehow, someday, fall into place.

As I said the bright side of it is that Filipinos seem to go through life without the rigidity and the heaviness that often characterizes the seemingly more efficient way of life of the West and the payoff is that they seem to smile a lot more than us Westerners, even in the face of tragedies that, sometimes, no amount of planning ahead and efficiency can ward off.

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