I got to know my wife back in the early 2000’s. Immediately after my relationship began, I also started associating with Filipinos who are part of the vast Filipino community of Rome.
One of the things that caught my attention is that they appeared to be way more technologically literate than most Italians.
Although back then there was no such thing as modern smart phones, there were already handheld computers that could be connected to a cell phone via infrared and, slightly later, via bluetooth.
The first time I saw an electronic organizer or a handheld computer was through Filipinos who were among the first people in Italy to have one.
In my conversations with them there was one word that was constantly on their mouths and that word was “Friendster”.
I had no idea what the heck that thing was all about and whenever I asked for clarifications they would say that Friendster was a social network. I had no idea what a social network was.
So, long before Facebook appeared here in Italy, and when social networks were still completely foreign to me and to most Italians, Filipinos expatriates who lived in Italy were already abreast with the social media culture that was getting started.
I remember checking my wife’s email shortly after we got married and in the inbox there was plenty of notifications from Facebook. I had no idea what that was.
My wife, like most Filipinos here, was on Friendster in the early part of the 3rd millennium and, as soon as Facebook appeared, she already had an account.
Although nowadays almost every Italian I know has a FB account there are still a few who just refuse to have one and many who do have one but use it sparingly.
I don’t know a single Pinoy who doesn’t have a FB account and most Filipinos whom I know post stuff every single day several times a day.
A Filipino wife is most likely one who is on social media day in and day out and is probably very active.
The ‘sedentary’ forms of entertainment that my wife likes (as most Pinoy I know) sometimes create within me forms of resistance as I would like to take her out for a walk in nature or downtown Rome where couples from all over the world walk the old streets of cobblestones hand in hand and enjoy romantic moments. Yet, she prefers to spend much of her free time in front of her smart phone.
Again if I want to build a bridge I can’t “bash the habitat that I myself have chosen to inhabit” as the “Culture Shock Philippines” book by Alfredo and Grace Roces puts it and expect that a Filipina will part with her FB account.
So, I opened an account myself and we now have a joint FB account where we enjoy romantic time together posting our best pictures that are part of the history of our relationship and that call back to our minds the nice experiences we had together.
It is true that, like most Westerners, I prefer more dynamic forms of entertainment and I would love to travel more and go out for a walk with my wife more often but I somehow learned to take pleasure in cuddling with my wife while posting pictures of romantic moments we had together and by looking at the details of those pictures and our facial expressions I realize that we have enjoyed and are still enjoying a great relationship.
Building an emotional bridge may entail getting to like things you are not naturally inclined to do instead of dismissing them.
I’ve found ways to enjoy doing what she likes doing and FB has created added value in our mixed-relationship.