I spent about 11 years fully immersing myself into the Filipino culture but, as I said in other posts, that didn’t create the bridge I was expecting to create.
My relationship started taking off when I began working on my mindset.
It dawned upon me that entering a multicultural intimate relationship and dealing with its complexity requires higher levels of spirituality and an above average ability to deal, emotionally speaking, with the inevitable upset that culture shock creates.
That is why my posts sometimes deal with specific aspects of the Filipino culture while on other occasions I talk about the importance of going through this kind of relationship with the right mindset.
It has been said that 80% of success in anything in life is mindset and only 20% is what you actually do.
Delving into the Filipino culture belongs to the 20% in my opinion while everything else is emotional mastery.
I think one of the keys to achieving spiritual and emotional mastery is how you start your day.
The ability to bulletproof your psychology, fireproof your spirituality and battleproof your internal dialogue early in the morning, by reading uplifting material and meditating a little bit instead of checking your Facebook notifications or watching the news for example, or making a list of what you are grateful for and what you appreciate in your spouse, determines how the whole day will play out and how you will react to the various challenging situations that arise in a complex marriage like the one with a Filipina.
Dealing with the extended family, dealing with the high emotionalism of Filipinos and dealing with the various idiosyncrasies of their culture will certainly put your emotions to the test.
You certainly need to learn as much as you possibly can about the bahala na, utang na loob, ningas kugon, balat sibuyas, hiya and many other aspects of your spouse’s culture but don’t fall into the trap of assuming that by simply becoming an expert of your wife’s culture you will create an outstanding relationship.
My experience is that success in this kind of marriage is more about psychology than it is about going Filipino and a very powerful way to fireproof your psychology is dwelling on uplifting thoughts as first thing in the morning.