Hinanakit is a Tagalog word that basically means “resentment” or “grudge”.
Filipinos, or at least the ones I interact with, are emotional people and they can harbour hinanakit for years.
Filipinos are, of course, not the only ones who struggle to forgive and forget. We all do that in one fashion or another.
I once heard a great illustration about how to remove hinanakit from our lives: it’s the example of the snake bite and the venom.
Snakes do bite, and in the Philippines there are plenty of snakes that are highly dangerous, except the sawa or python (unless you bump into a big one in the gubat or jungle).
Well, in the Philippines there is actually also a kind of sawa that doesn’t live in the gubat but it is a little dangerous and that is the asawa (spouse) that is “sawa” na sa iyo (sick and tired of you)….
But, apart from the sawa and the Tagalog play on words, I remember walking in some rice paddy and being told to watch out for the dahong palay, a supposedly very venomous snake that lurks in the rice fields of the Philippines.
If one gets bitten by a dahong palay or by any other snake there is still a chance to avoid being damaged as long as one is quick to remove the venom, for it is not the bite itself that kills but rather the venom that continues to flow after the bite (as Dr. Wayne Dyer said in his “Everyday Wisdom”).
As a married person I realize that it is impossible in an intimate relationship not to bite and not to be bitten.
We are all imperfect people and we do bite and get bitten all the time but we can choose not to allow the kamandag or venom to continue to flow long after the bite.
Sometimes I would rather choose to be bitten by a dahong palay than by the asawa who is sawa sa akin but I realize that in the relationship I often become a dahong palay too.
We all carry venom within and we all say and do things that hurt so we’d better learn how to let go of hinanakit.