“Ulo” ng Pamilya and “Utak” ng Pamilya

Riding on a “sasakyan” with tito Benje to take his wife home after teaching

One of the things that my Filipino wife used to tell me was “ikaw ang ulo ng pamilya, ako ang utakmeaning “you are the head of the family while I am the brain”.

While in my family we have a proper and balanced view of headship and it is not (not always at least) quite the case that ako ang ulo at siya ang utak, in quite a few Filipino families the husband is indeed the ulo while the wife is the utak.

I remember meeting one of my wife’s kapitbahay or neighbor in the Philippines whose wife is a propesora in a high school situated in the Dona Remedios Trinidad area in the mountain region of the province of Bulacan and he is a tricycle driver and basically his main job was taking his wife to work and take her back.

A Filipino friend of mine once told me that in the Philippines many wives are engineers (or they have other higher qualifications) while their husbands are gingineers, as they spend the day sitting idly and drinking gin.

As I said in some of my articles about the macho-machunuring (submissive and henpecked macho), wives often take the lead in a Filipino family.

When this happens it can really be said that the asawang lalaki ay ang ulo ng pamilya while the wife is ang utak….



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