I have been raised with the idea that, to be any kind of successful human being, one must be a person who adds value to people’s life. To be a person who adds value means that whatever I touch and whatever I impact must get better.
In a marriage creating value, to me, means that if I enter a relationship I must contribute to make the other person a better one. Similarly I expect that, by being in a relationship with someone else, that relationship will make me a better man.
Does marrying a Filipina create added value?
It may seem that in certain areas of your life, by being in a relationship with a Filipina, you lose.
From a surface point of view it may appear that, by and large, Filipinos are not people who touch something and it gets better.
The city of Baguio, situated on the Cordillera Mountains, is a case in point and an interesting metaphor:
Baguio City was designed by an American named Daniel Burnham and, according to the original design, was supposed to become a “garden-city”. Under many aspects it is a “garden-city”, as there are several parks like Wright Park, Mines View, the John Hay Camp and the central Burnham Park. Yet, if you only walk a couple of blocks away from Burnham Park you find yourself in neighborhoods that are not any different from the Quiapo area in Manila
Filipinos were given a garden-city and they turned it into a congested mess, at least a large portion of it.
If you marry a Filipina, certain areas of your life may end up just like Baguio city.
Perhaps right now you have saving and investing plans to grow your money and be well equipped before age 65 rolls around. Because many Filipinos seem to lack financial education and become spenders rather than lenders and want to support way too many relatives in the Philippines, by entering a relationship with a Filipina, you will hardly grow your wealth and your financial goals might go down the drain.
The bahala-na or casual approach to life of most Filipinos to money budgeting and other domains of life may give a Western husband of a Filipina the impression that he is losing out.
On the other hand this relationship has created great value in other areas of my life: the Bayanihan spirit has taught me to become more unselfish, the gregarious Pakikisama spirit has helped me to become more outgoing. Living with my wife’s extended family has helped me to reconsider my relationship with my own family of origin and value them much more.
Because Filipinos, including my wife, are highly emotional, learning to deal with emotional people has given me the motivation to be a much better listener and learn empathy.
I consider myself a better man so I can positively say that my marriage has definitely added value to my life and even though I’ve lost something in terms of my economics, career life and goal setting, my overall level of consciousness and humanity has made a giant leap.
In a marriage with a Filipina you may lose something in terms of career, productivity and financial goals but, if you go about it the right way and with the right mindset, you will definitely raise your communication skills, your level of emotional intelligence, your ability to share, your view of elderly people and family ties.
I don’t regret having married a Filipina and I can definitely say that being in this relationship has brought great value into my life.